Make More Money, Be Happier, Fix Your Partner? Popular Advice Misses the Problem
When you’re broke, burnt out, and barely holding your relationship together, the advice you’ll hear sounds painfully simple: Make more money. Try therapy. Pick a better partner. It’s advice that assumes you have time, energy, resources, and a time machine. On paper, it reads like a plan. In real life, it lands like a slap.
Because most of us aren’t working with ideal circumstances. We’re navigating tight budgets, emotional exhaustion, and partners who aren’t reading the same advice thread. So, let’s talk about why most of what you’ve heard so far misses the point and the advice that actually helps.
In this article:
Just Make More Money
Take Care of Your Mental Health
Fix Your Relationship By Choosing Better Partners
How to Tell Good Advice from Bad
What to Do Instead
Just Make More Money
Let’s be clear—if it were easy to make more money, everyone would be doing it.
Most of the advice out there either sounds like a hustle scam or requires resources you don’t have.
Passive income? Not passive.
Starting a business? Requires startup funds, time, and marketing knowledge.
Getting a better job? Sure, if you’ve got childcare, a flexible schedule, and a resume that wasn’t last updated in 2017.
Also, telling people to stop buying lattes or budget better while everything is 40% more expensive than it was a few years ago is insulting. What we need is advice for surviving this economy, not pretending like it’s our fault we’re struggling in it.
What’s more helpful:
Making a plan for the money you do have, even if it’s tight.
Questioning every purchase—not because you’re bad with money, but because advertising is literally designed to make you feel like you’re not enough until you spend more.
Being okay with small, slow progress—even if you’re not “building generational wealth,” maybe you’re just building a little breathing room. That counts.
Take Care of Your Mental Health
“Take care of your mental health” has become the new “thoughts and prayers”—well-meaning, but rarely enough. Without access to real support (which many people don’t have), most mental health advice boils down to watered-down positivity: meditate, journal, take a walk. None of that is wrong, but it doesn’t fix trauma, postpartum depression, or the kind of burnout you feel when parenting without help.
I say this as someone who does promote journaling, but only because it works for me. I know it’s not for everyone. I can’t imagine my husband, my best friend, or my mom writing more than two sentences. Still, even if you don’t write, hearing someone else process their mess can make you feel less alone. Sometimes you don’t need a solution, you just need to feel seen.
What’s more helpful:
Acknowledging when things are actually hard, not just when your attitude is off.
Doing small things that make your life more livable, not more “optimized.”
Choosing coping strategies over “fixes.”
Sometimes it’s not your mindset. Sometimes it’s your reality.
Fix Your Relationship By Choosing Better Partners
Most marriage advice assumes both partners are equally willing to do the work. But in real life, a lot of men don’t think anything’s wrong—because their wife, girlfriend, or co-parent is already carrying the emotional labor, the household responsibilities, and the parenting load. From their perspective, everything’s working fine.
Why would he change if he doesn’t think anything’s broken?
Even when a partner does want to step up, change is slow. Growth takes time, and unlearning habits built over a lifetime doesn’t happen after one conversation or one therapy session. Meanwhile, you’re still doing most of the work
I respect voices like Abby Eckel, who speak out about emotional labor, but even she admits her husband is an exception—a partner who listened, adapted, and changed. That’s not the norm. Telling women to “pick better” after marriage and kids isn’t an answer. It lost hope.
What’s more helpful:
Accepting that some dynamics won’t shift, no matter how many books you read or convos you initiate.
Focusing on how you want to live, not just how to “fix” someone else.
Letting go of the fantasy of 50/50 and building a life that works for you, not for the ideal.
If you’re stuck in that in-between space, where help isn’t coming anytime soon but giving up isn’t an option either, there are ways to protect your peace. I wrote more about that here: How to Cope When Your Partner Won’t Help With the House or Kids.
How to Tell Good Advice from Bad
There’s one rule I keep coming back to: If the person giving advice stands to profit from your struggle, think twice.
Anyone selling you a lifestyle, a coaching package, a money mindset course, or a dream relationship that’s only one step away for $997, they’re not your friend. They’re a marketer.
Good advice usually sounds like this:
“This worked for me, but your life might be different.”
“Here’s something to try—if it doesn’t help, don’t blame yourself.”
“You’re not failing. You’re adapting.”
Bad advice sounds like this:
“You just need to want it more.”
“You’re not trying hard enough.”
“Everyone has the same 24 hours.”
No, we don’t. And anyone pretending we do is selling a fantasy.
What to Do Instead
You don’t need to reinvent your life overnight. You don’t need to manifest a millionaire mindset. And you don’t need to end your relationship in the hopes of upgrading.*
Start smaller. Start where you are. Start by tuning out advice that leaves you feeling like a failure.
Keep only what fits your life.
Keep only your values.
Keep only what you’re capable of right now.
Question the voices that profit off your pain.
And remember: you’re navigating a system that was never built to support you. So, protect your energy, trust your instincts, and move forward in ways that actually serve you.
* If your partner is abusive, controlling, or putting you or your children in danger, please know you deserve safety and support. You can reach the National Domestic Violence Hotline anytime or call 800-799-7233. You are not alone.
