You’re broke, burnt out, and trying to keep your relationships from falling apart—and the advice you hear ignores the real barriers you’re up against. Why does so much popular advice fail moms? And how do we find what actually helps when we’re out of time, energy, and patience. If you’ve ever felt like you’re doing everything “right” and still drowning, this article is for you.

You’re not failing because your marriage isn’t 50/50. You’re not broken because your husband doesn’t instinctively scrub the toilet or remember your kid’s shoe size. The modern fantasy of perfect equality in parenting is exhausting—and unrealistic for many of us raised in a different world. This piece is for the moms making it work, the women choosing independence, and anyone tired of being told it’s their fault if their partner won’t “step up.” Let’s talk about what real partnerships look like—flaws, uneven loads, and all.