You love your kid. You’re doing your best. So why does it still feel like you’re constantly failing? From feeling like you’re not doing enough to chasing the ghost of perfect parenting, guilt has a sneaky way of creeping into your day-to-day. If you’ve ever second-guessed your choices, compared yourself to the highlight reels online, or wondered if you’re screwing it all up, find out how to get rid of the parenting guilt. You don’t need to do more. You need to feel good about what you’re already doing.

Parenting is like making a sandwich blindfolded while someone screams at you about screen time. If you’ve ever tried to follow a parenting style and ended up rage-Googling “how to stop yelling without being a pushover,” this breakdown of five major parenting approaches—plus how to mix them to fit your actual, messy, beautiful life—is for you.

Motherhood has also unexpectedly brought forth a torrent of deep-seated insecurities. Amidst the joy, I face an unanticipated adversary; myself.

“We need to toughen him up.” It’s just a harmless phrase, right? Except it’s not. It’s the first step in teaching boys to suppress their emotions, to believe that kindness is weakness, and that their worth is measured by how much they can “take it.” But here’s the thing—our boys aren’t training for some brutal gladiator battle. And the way we respond to these outdated ideas now will shape the men they become. So, are we raising boys who feel safe expressing themselves, or are we setting them up for a lifetime of emotional struggle?

The pressure to create picture-perfect moments seems to have reached new heights, leaving me feeling incredulous about the unrealistic standards set for new parents.