Movies and Media Hijacked Your Happiness (Here’s How to Take It Back)
We thought we were just watching Disney fairy tales, sitcoms, and even those cringey reality shows. But they weren’t just harmless entertainment; they were quietly reprogramming what we thought life should look like. The dream jobs, the beautiful homes, even the drama and closure around love… all scripted.
The problem is that real life isn’t written and performed, and chasing those ideals can make you miserable. Adjusting your beliefs to fit reality, not Hollywood, can bring a lot more peace than any promised happily-ever-after.
In this article:
Stop Trying to Have Main Character Energy
An Ever-Changing Aesthetic Designed to Drain
Career Goals That Weren’t Yours to Begin With
Love Was Never Supposed to Be This Dramatic
Real Life Doesn’t Owe You a Story Arc
The Influence We Need to Question
Stop Trying to Have Main Character Energy
We’ve been sold the fantasy that we’re the lead in some grand production. It’s another side effect of a culture obsessed with being noticed and validated.
But we’re all moving through our lives together. While you’re grabbing coffee, someone else is having car troubles. While you’re wrangling a toddler, another person is landing their dream job.
And what that really means:
Your story isn’t the only one unfolding.
The person next to you has just as much going on, even if you can’t see it.
We’re all playing supporting roles in each other’s stories, whether we realize it or not.
Everyone’s life has layers we can’t see. Even those picture-perfect people have problems, and their lives are not as easy or as wonderful as they appear. If you need proof, see my post 11 Reasons Why Their Life Looks Perfect (But Probably Isn’t).
An Ever-Changing Aesthetic Designed to Drain
What you watch quietly builds your shopping list and your sense of what’s “normal.”
The clothes that make you “desirable” and matching outfits that make your family seem “together.”
The modern, open-concept kitchen and multiple beiges throughout your home.
The dream vacation abroad at a luxury all-inclusive resort.
But most of us aren’t living in curated TV sets or influencer houses. We’re just trying to keep our kids from using the carpet as a coloring book and hoping the car lasts another year.
The danger is that this stuff costs money. Money that could be building savings, paying debt, or buying you real peace of mind. Your value isn’t tied to your square footage or wardrobe. A functional life beats a staged one every single time.
Next time you want something because you saw it on a screen, pause and ask yourself “Is this for me or for my reel?” If this resonates, check out Why Social Media Is Wrecking Your Brain (And Your Kid’s Too) for more insight.
Career Goals That Weren’t Yours to Begin With
No one grew up dreaming about being a gallery curator, an influencer, or an overworked stock trader. Media shoved those ideals in front of us, and now we treat titles like trophies and paychecks like proof of worth.
In America especially, we’ve been told that your job title, the accolades you collect, and the size of your paycheck are the ultimate markers of success. But the company that hands you work for would replace you tomorrow if it had to, while your family can’t.
Enjoying your work and doing well is great, but it’s not the only thing that matters. Some of us define success by what we do after 5 pm:
Raising kids who feel secure
Keeping our health intact
Showing up for our friends
Having the time and headspace to breathe
Sometimes the smartest move isn’t the flashiest. It’s taking a job that:
Pays the bills.
Offers flexibility.
Lets you invest energy where it counts.
For example, I applied to be a part-time teacher at my son’s school; not because I’ve always dreamed of shaping young minds, but because it provides steady income and half-off tuition. That’s not a Hollywood moment, but it’s strategic.
Love Was Never Supposed to Be This Dramatic
Movies taught us that love is dramatic and painful, but worth it for the grand romantic moment:
The airport chase
The kiss in the rain
The second chance after betrayal
We mistake chaos for passion and dysfunction for romance, because fiction made intensity look like intimacy. Which is why so many people second-guess their quieter, steadier relationships.
Marriage hasn’t always been about love. For most of human history, it was about survival, family alliances, and economics. The idea that marriage should be fueled by passion is a very recent invention, and one pushed by stories, not reality.
So, if your relationship doesn’t look like a Nicholas Sparks novel, good. It shouldn’t. Passion is fine, but what lasts is somebody who shows up for the boring parts of life.
Real Life Doesn’t Owe You a Story Arc
In stories, there’s always a buildup, a climax, and a resolution. Everything gets wrapped up with a neat bow on top. So, we expect the same:
The wronged get justice.
People eventually come around.
A satisfying explanation for the things that broke us.
But real life doesn’t care about story structure. There’s no soundtrack swelling when you make a brave choice and no poetic full-circle moment for every hurt. Sometimes there’s no closure at all—just unanswered questions, bills to pay, and dinner to make.
The Influence We Need to Question
Most of the time, the things we chase aren’t even ours. They’re borrowed from movies, ads, feeds, and the endless parade of “dream lives” we were told to want.
We were given a script. You don’t have to keep acting it out. Here’s how to exit the show:
Drop the “main character” myth: Your worth isn’t tied to whether your life looks cinematic. Background players still matter.
Detox from aesthetics: Stop shopping like you’re dressing a set. Buy what you actually use. Live in what you can actually afford.
Reframe work: Take jobs for money, time, or benefits; not for prestige. Your work-life balance matters more than a title.
Redefine love: Look for reliability and partnership, not just butterflies. Passion fades. Bills don’t.
Release closure: Let go of the idea that every conflict will have a perfect ending. Living well is the resolution.
Fulfillment doesn’t need to be about chasing movie moments. It’s about building something ordinary and deeply yours.
