You’ve probably heard it a million times: “Stop making excuses for men who don’t pull their weight.” Sounds empowering, right? But in practice, it often just piles even more work on women. Because now, on top of managing the house, the kids, and your own mental load, you’re also expected to fix him. Dig into why so many male stereotypes still ring true, why pretending otherwise backfires, and how to stop being the family coach while still getting the support you deserve.

You’re not failing because your marriage isn’t 50/50. You’re not broken because your husband doesn’t instinctively scrub the toilet or remember your kid’s shoe size. The modern fantasy of perfect equality in parenting is exhausting—and unrealistic for many of us raised in a different world. This piece is for the moms making it work, the women choosing independence, and anyone tired of being told it’s their fault if their partner won’t “step up.” Let’s talk about what real partnerships look like—flaws, uneven loads, and all.